wtorek, 18 listopada 2014

"Zamrażam więc to, co ma zginąć i nowa rodzę się"



Kiedy zaczynałam sezon jesienno-zimowy z kijami, bałam się głównie deszczu. Nie pomyślałam, że chłód może być równie doskwierający i stanowić takie wyzwanie dla silnej woli. Mam bardzo wysoki próg odczuwania zimna (czy powinnam powiedzieć niski?), właściwie do tej pory nosiłam krótkie rękawy, rzadko kiedy mam na sobie kurtkę, bylebym miała coś wokół szyi, stąd moje uwielbienie dla wszelkiego rodzaju szali. Dzisiaj był wieczorem mróz. Już w domu podmarzłam, ale jak wyszłam, zamieniłam się natychmiast w kupę nieszczęścia. Odpowiednie odzianie się zajmuje dużo czasu, nie lubię, bo jak decyduję o wyjściu, chciałabym natychmiast, robię się bardzo niecierpliwa. T-shirt do tego polar, bo kurtka cienka przeciwdeszczowa, na kurtkę odblaskowa kamizelka, bo ciemno, nie chcę zginąć na drodze, mam przecież słuchawki w uszach. Dziś rękawiczki, które mi utrudniały założenie kijów, rzepy mi się ich czepiały. Spodnie założyłam na gołe nogi, powiem krótko, co wrażliwsi niech zasłonią uszy - ten huj, co powiedział, że na nogach nie ma receptorów zimna nie zasługuje nawet na 'c'.Jutro muszę coś wymyślić.
Oczywiście po czasie się rozgrzewam, ale do tego czasu językowi grozi posiekanie na tatara.
Dzisiejszy marsz poświęciłam na ćwiczenie medytacji, wyłączenia myśli z procesu marszowego. Różnie mi to szło, ale nawet znalazłam sposób, zawieszałam się na słowach pojedynczych, liczyłam sylaby, potem litery, zastanawiałam się, jaką czcionką one są śpiewane (sic!), szukałam instrumentów gdzieś tam w trzecim rzędzie melodii. Trasę znam dobrze, na chwilę mogłam nawet zamknąć oczy.. Myślę, że z czasem dojdę do umiejętności wyłączania się z toku myślowego. Przynajmniej na jakiś czas.
Na sam koniec, już w tej partii marszu ciemnej i całkiem 'niewidzącej' włączyła mi się piosenka Miśkiewicz (dziś słuchałam jej całej płyty), której wcześniej nie zauważyłam wcale. Aż dziw. Do tego zimowa. Mówiłam wczoraj o tym przejściu przez ciemność do ponownych narodzin, no to teraz to usłyszałam w uszach:
"Myśli te
Ogrzewają mnie
Czułe dla
Zimowych spraw
Nieuniknione jest
Lato, wiosna, zima też
Zima też
Zamrażam więc to, co ma zginąć
I nowa rodzę się"


Piosenki nadal do mnie gadają

Bardzo szukam czegoś, co mi nie pozwoli stracić zapału, bardzo się tego boję, bo to by była klęska, a mnie kolejna przegrana niepotrzebna.

Nie ma tej piosenki na YT, podaję stronę, gdzie można odsłuchać audio - tytuł Nieuniknione

http://muzzo.pl/odtwarzaj/nieuniknione,296632

58 komentarzy:

  1. Ciężko jest spędzać czas aktywnie bez motywacji. Ale uwierz mi ze kryzysy mijaja i gdy nie bedzie Ci sie chciało wyjść musisz działać wbrew sobie... Przełamać słabszą chwilę.
    Lubie gdy czasem piosenki za mną "chodzą" ;)

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    Odpowiedzi
    1. Pani M - staram się nie dawać zniechęceniu. Na razie się udaje

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  2. Kasiu, a co z Twoją książką? Piszesz? Skończyłaś?
    Bo ja ...ekhm...jakby to powiedzieć...jestem towarzyszką w bólu i właśnie czekam aż wena spłynie

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    1. Provincial - piszę, trochę utknęłam, ale to raczej z braku czasu

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  3. Dobra motywacja i bez uników.
    Dziś też idę , mam na myśli jakieś 5 km nie żaden wielki sus, ale przestało wiać, wykorzystać możliwości pogodowe.

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    1. U nas wichury od szóstego non stop, ile może wiać. Ostatni marsz miałam piątek w poniedziałek i od tego czasu nic. Ale w domu ćwiczę.

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  4. dojdziesz, dojdziesz, mi ten moment sam przyszedł.
    własnie mi uzmysłowiłaś że od kilku dni nie chodziłam na swój spacer.

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    Odpowiedzi
    1. Futrzaku, tydzień nie chodzę, bo u nas wichury do 150 km/h. Ale ćwiczę w domu. Byle do wiosny :-)

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  5. Kasiu! Odpowiadasz na komentarze, zdjęcie zmieniłaś (to ty??!) ale nie piszesz , buuuu.
    "Taki to już los nasz będzie?
    Takie to już miłowanie?
    Przywitanie-pożegnanie
    Pożegnanie-wspominanie"

    Napisz co u ciebie. Jak idzie pisanie. I co za wir cię wciągnął

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    1. provincial - masz rację, muszę się jakoś zebrać, na nowo zorganizować i wrócić tutaj. A przede wszystkim wszystko opisać, co nie będzie proste i zajmie wieki. Wrócę obiecuję

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    2. Tak, to moje zdjęcie :-)

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  6. I gdzie Ty? Pusto bez Twoich wpisów. Wracaj, plissssss

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  7. Już prawie rok. Pewnie już nie wrócisz. Szkoda...

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